think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
