Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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