apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize