there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
