it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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