Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Damn victory sex feels great
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
