u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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