Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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