New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
