I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
