Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize