yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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