very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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