I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
