the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize