I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
