I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she looked like the before picture.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
