sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
