just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
