I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
