He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize