if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize