Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
