So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
