I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
