Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
