If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
