Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize