brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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