haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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