Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize