PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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