I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
