i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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