I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just gargled with NyQuil
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
