There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
