just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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