Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
