Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
