I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
