It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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