porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
