i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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