I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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