I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
