Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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