If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
