I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
