you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
