dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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