Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
