Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
