we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i believe in u and ur pee
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
