Tell her she can't have a vagina
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
vagina is talking i cant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
should my penis look like a turkey
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
