So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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