Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Randomize
