bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
