R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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