Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
