Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
