just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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