on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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