ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
